I posted something in a Facebook group just now … it was a post that was allowed and it was from an invitation to post.
However, my inner critic kicked in, based on the fear of rejection and criticism from others.
- Will they think your post is too long?
- Is it too confrontational?
- Maybe the admin won’t like you ‘stepping on their toes’.
- Maybe no-one will even respond!
- Maybe what you are sharing isn’t as important as you think it is.
- Who do you think you are to write those words … and on and on….
Do YOU ever get your inner critic voice going on and on like that?
I guess in some kind of weird way it is trying to protect me but I am not so enamoured with the way it goes about it. I feel beaten down and the back of my neck starts to hurt …
What about you? How do you respond or react to the words of your inner critic?
I decided to check in with a message to admin to see if what I wrote was ok in her book.
It was a message based on fear and anxiety. Maybe she will respond with ‘Yes! Not appropriate! Don’t do it again! I imagine her having a look of disapproval and I imagine me stepping out of the group out of shame!
In actual fact, her reply was friendly and encouraging and supportive … such that I burst into tears.
What I learned
Phew! So much to learn from such a relatively small interaction.
I reflected mindfully:
The ‘big bad parent’ coming into play. Mum was so judgemental when I was young and sometimes violent so I was focused on survival from an early age and this sometimes subconsciously comes into play in my grown-up world… until I bring it into consciousness and then I can choose otherwise
I breathe deeply and embrace myself with compassionate love, acceptance and affection
Ahhhh so much better to be coming from love
Receiving, receiving…
I remember the words I heard some time ago: ‘One of the biggest fears we have as humans, greater than the fear of death, is the fear of humanity’ (i.e their judgements, rejection, criticisms).
So I let myself off the hook for being afraid (yes the inner critic again popping up its head …. you SHOULDN’T be afraid of other people) and I allow myself to be human (don’t you know I am supposed to be PERFECT!)
I am grateful for the tears which brought me insight and a chance to tune into self-love
I feel re-balanced
What do YOU do when you find yourself being hit over the head with the voice of the inner critic? How do you bring yourself back to feeling ok with yourself?
Or do you feel helpless and disempowered by its constant bombardment? Is it a continuous battle?
How does it affect your daily life, the choices and actions you take, how you feel about yourself?
If you would like help and support on mastering your inner critic instead of letting it master you maybe we need to talk
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Our Telegram community ‘Truly Transformational’ is full of resources for handling stress, anxiety, the inner critic, connecting to unconditional loving awareness and moving towards vibrant health and well being.
Or let’s have a chat about transforming your mind talk and unleashing your joy!
http://bit.ly/LetsTalkTransformation
“Since I joined the group, I have learned how to slow my thoughts through simple breathing techniques, and then connect my breathing to my heart. I’ve learned how to quieten my mind enough to hear and listen to my heart. I’ve learned that I am enough, and I have always been enough, I am loved, and I have always been loved and am love. I have always been… I had just forgotten.
Now I am learning to remember.
The best thing of all that I have learned, is that I always have a choice. I can choose whatever I like. I am learning to become an observer of my thoughts and reactions, which is enabling me to realize that there are other options, other thoughts to think… which create other feelings… I can choose to feel happy whenever I wish, no matter what I might have previously automatically thought. I love this feeling – it feels like being free… to be me… to be happy and loved… and to love x Joy, much love and gratitude to you… Today, I am remembering, and my wish is that I remember this every single day of my life xxx”
Liz Fleming
