I was watching a short video the other day about how we can sometimes lose hope that we are ever going to achieve or get what we really want.
It triggered something in me. I suddenly felt overwhelmed by all the things I believed I needed to do to get where I want to be. This was in direct contrast to my dedicated practice of nurturing myself, slowing down, meditating, sharing the path to exciting inner adventures and transformation with others ….
It was like this big voice in my head was shouting “Come on! You say you want to get your message out to the world in a big way – and you know what you need to do to make it happen … so get on with it !”
One of my buttons had been pressed
How often do you get your buttons pressed in a day, a week, a year? Most of us get triggered all the time by so many things. It can be something big and devastating like a death, a divorce, losing your job, your home …. or it can be something seemingly very small, like the way someone looks at you for a second, or just missing a bus when you are late for an appointment, or breaking a nail.
Ultimately though it is not so much about what happens to you on the outside as about how you respond or react to any and every situation you come across that matters. Whenever one of your buttons is pressed, it is the meaning you associate with it that brings about the ‘pressing’, the heavy feelings, the agitation, the conflict.
It often starts off as an unconscious response… some kind of fear based survival gut reaction. So, often, before we know it and often out of the blue … bzZ-Zzz!.. we can find ourselves caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, feelings and emotions, all intricately connected and wound together in a web of meanings, associations and experiences from the past, spiralling out of control. We can find ourselves being sucked, almost at the speed of light, into a vortex of anger, guilt, blame and resentment, hopelessness and despair … a bottomless black chasm of anguish, abandonment and isolation.
And just for good measure we might then go on to beat ourselves up for feeling this way! So now we have added to the pile with condemning self-judgement followed by a good dollop of self pity and powerless victimhood.
The Energy Wave
POW! A whole area of your body and corresponding emotions just lights up, flooded with energy …
… like a pin ball machine being lit up by a quick-firing ball… ping… ping… ping … your neck, shoulders, throat, your chest, knees …
… constricted, heavy, weak …
… mind in overdrive … ugh!
Again … breathe deeply
Allow myself to become still … that’s what I do .. to reconnect with my deeper self
I become an observer of my agitated state. The first thing this does is it distances me from the part of me that feels she is drowning and who is flailing around trying to get out of it. At this point I am connected with a deeper, more peaceful me and from this place I now surround all of the disconnected parts with compassion, acceptance and unconditional love.
I am still, I am aware, I surrender
You can do this too
Stop fighting for a few moments, stop the struggle, let go … just breathe, observe.
Say ‘Yes! yes!’ out loud over and over again (just for a few moments)
Be ‘with’ the state … nothing stays static … the universe is in flow. Your feelings will change … and towards something lighter.
I find that when I do this I move towards greater clarity and peace. I discover the treasures in the challenge. My button gets reset to ‘understanding the bigger picture’ I am standing in the expansive and nurturing light of my truth and pain, falsehood … darkness … disappears
Trying to fight your feelings, trying to battle with yourself … even just ‘trying’ , being in resistance … No! No! … will feed the ball … ping… ping! … will keep the button pressed …bzZZzz ..!
So let yourself feel the feelings that arise when your button is pressed. You don’t need to try and bury them. You can allow. You can surround yourself and your feelings with compassion. Breathing deeply and becoming still is the doorway to this. Say Yes! to your triggered reactions instead of No! (I know, its quite a novel idea …)
Let go of the story around why your button has been pressed, all the because’s. Be willing to experiment with this. The willingness to experiment in itself will reduce your resistance. Also be open to any messages that may come through, an insight perhaps, a realisation, a change of state. Nothing is static. Everything is in flow. We just block it with our stories and our resistances.
Surrender to the flow and you will expand into a vastness of peace, or brilliance, or infinite joy …. or any other expression of the boundless essence of love that our universe is founded upon
Just to sit quietly witnessing your inner state already moves you beyond overwhelm and into love, beyond victimhood into your true magnificent power, from confusion into clarity, from button pressed to button bemused 🙂
You will most likely see the whole situation very differently and might even wonder humorously how you even let yourself be triggered in the first place
The button has been neutralised. It no longer has a livewire connection. Your energy has shifted. Your neural pathways have changed in accordance with your new focus. You have moved out of fear and anxiety into trust and confidence. You don’t have to play that game any more!